Kali Ma. Truth. and Coming Home to the Mother.

I haven’t had a serious issue with Mercury going retrograde for a while now. I’ve watched it come, stir things up and rattle my cage, but overall I’ve been able to watch it and flow with it. Allowing myself to learn from it instead of being at odds with it, even amidst the contorted emotional reaction.

But when the shadow of Mercury retrograde hit three weeks ago, I was blindsided. It was so intense, so agonizing, so confusing. I wondered if somehow the astrologers had gotten the dates wrong somehow. Of course they didn’t. So I began to be really apprehensive about what might happen when the retrograde actually came.

Kali Ma visited my psyche during the shadow. I was effectively rendered incapacitated. But I am so glad she came to do her thing with all that has not been working for me. This time round I basically laid myself bare and submitted to Kali’s destruction. I didn’t fight it like I would have a couple of years ago.

Trying to run from Kali Ma is pointless anyway. She’s the phreaking supreme goddess of death! How do you run from that? Simply put, you can’t. You can resist the inner destruction of all that is not worthy, but if you do you’re going to quickly manifest chaos in your life with the outer manifestation of this death not being in line with the inner construct you are holding onto.

By not resisting these life situations, experiences, inner conflict and major perceptual shifting I find myself left with a truer experience, or perception of what my core self actually is and how it needs to express itself. I am discovering more and more each day that I AM indeed The TRUTH. My own truth. And I want that truth to ring clear as a bell.

Sun enters Scorpio.

This Mercury retrograde is happening in Scorpio. A water sign. Water stands for emotions, life and birth, forgiveness and growth. But at it’s core Scorpio represents danger, destruction, death, letting go. Basically the epitome of Shiva, Kali Ma’s consort and equal. My husband’s a Scorpio. The darkest sign in the zodiac. Shiva is channeling himself direct in my house in very distinct ways.

Destruction, death and decay leave fertile ground for new growth, new life, new beginnings. Like the mushrooms and microbes on the forest floor which eat away at and decompose all that has been shed by the forest transforming it into rich fertile soil for new life to spring from. I am not as fearful as I once was about this whole death and rebirth processes. With all that is unworthy, outdated and untrue within me dieing and falling away I am left emptier than ever before, yet this emptiness allows for clearer vision of what truly lies at the core of my being.

Enter Jupiter, Lilith in Cancer.

This aspect is calling us home to the Mother. The aspects of destruction and letting go are necessary to clear the path to Her. Deep connection to the Mother is pure and distortion-free. She supports our ego destruction. She nurtures our re-birth. She energizes our new and improved form with clear direction, deep universal love and plenty of food for the journey. Nurturing food which is actually the decomposed stuffs of our own inner and outer destruction.

This is where I come home to the Mother.

She’s ringing a bell so clear within me that the sound of it pierces every bit of my being. From the depths of my soul to every single cell of my body. In being emptied (read destroyed) there is nothing in the way to muffle the sound of it’s clarity. The more I allow this inner destruction, the more clear and resounding and strong this bell rings. The truth of who and what I really am stands bare naked before me in all Her shining glory.

Here’s a couple links that go over the current astrology:

Short peotic: Sun Enters Scorpio – October 23, 2013 by Bill Attride
In depth video: Pele Report – October 23, 2013 by Kaypacha (Tom Lescher)

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Full Moon. Lunar eclipse. Spider Woman and Circles.

“We are weaving a new way, Stitching revolutions together, Spinning new worlds from our Wombs, Dreaming back the wild edges of our Souls, Calling forth that what has been lost. We are women of the Womb, Maddened by love into action, We are men of the heart, Softened into surrender, Afraid only of not feeling. We are thinking in a web, Your thread holds mine together. We are taleweavers and troubadours, Telling the words that were broken, Singing the songs of longing. We are weaving a new way, Using the thread of pain, Spinning it back into gold.”
~Seren Swannesha Bertrand

Friday was the planning meeting for my very first women’s circle. I brought paper and pen, enthusiasm and desire. I didn’t have to go far, just upstairs into a bedroom for some privacy amidst the evening cacophony of a family of 6 on a full moon at week’s end.

So there we are, the two of us. Spider Woman and me, Mama Jedi. We CAN have a circle with just two of us, RIGHT? Gotta start somewhere. Sitting on the bed cross legged facing each other we began to discuss why we felt we needed a women’s circle and what we were going to do with it. Seeing as how Spider Woman and I have just recently met we spent most of the time sharing about ourselves, our needs, our desires, our levels of awareness, what we wanted in a women’s circle and so on.

Well, I need to be perfectly honest here. I dominated most of the conversation while she went into professionally trained listening mode. We discussed this as well. I was assured by Spider Woman that my seemingly dominating stature is a good trait and we would balance nicely.

I didn’t ever get to use the paper and pen I brought. The enthusiasm and desire to connect on a deep spiritual level with another woman who possessed the same enthusiasm and desires as I was enough to keep me talking and sharing and going on the entire time allotted for our meeting. We decided that paper and pen may not be necessary at this stage of the game. Our desire for connection, support, space for mystical being-ness and the sharing of that desire was enough to begin with.

Organic spirit flow manifests the right time and place for anything and everything.

With that said. I can’t wait for next Friday.

Curious about Spider Woman? Click here.

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Perspective is Key

It’s bendy and shifty.
One minute it looks one way and the next minute it looks another way.

Remember to never make judgement or set a belief based on the ever shifting perspective of the ego. Perspective is opinion based on what one is able to perceive and very few can accurately perceive the totality of the truth.

So, without judgement, shift with it.
There’s doors to unlock we didn’t even know were there.
Perspective is key.

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