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How do I deal with negative judgements which hurt my feelings?


Do you use any particular techniques or chosen mind sets to repel negative energy thrown upon you by an old friend or even someone close to you?

More specifically, I just encountered this situation since starting my journey to positive thinking and a loving mindset. I know this was a test and I’m having an issue with honestly letting it go that this person was very judgmental towards me, my family and my life “decisions”. I told her everyone takes their own path and no decision is really right or wrong and that she’s entitled to her opinion. I tried to point out nicely that my life decisions (and events) are mine and my family’s and do not directly affect her or her family.

I have always greeted our differences with an open mind and heart, and have always responded to anything negative with a positive open minded statement. She just continued to try and justify her judgements and even went very personal and basically said that this new life that is arriving soon (my little girl, my second child) would’ve been better off as a miscarriage.

Now, I know this is all very childish and clearly she is hurting deep inside (she had trouble conceiving and her husband won’t try for another baby that she’s been wanting for the last year). There may or may not be a hint of jealousy. I don’t know. I do know that she is accustomed to throwing judgements. In fact she spends most of her time complaining and judging.

Anyway, back to the point. I’m having a hard time not becoming “petty” and throwing judgements back on her to my close friends and others such as yourself for example. I’m not really trying to vent or complain or judge even if I don’t notice fully that I indeed am. I can’t seem to find the right words but I think you will know what I’m asking.


First thing to understand is that the negativity you experience in your life is entirely self created. It’s in the DNA before we are born and added to by what we think, do, feel, believe. It’s not always our conscious fault, but please keep in mind, if someone does not already possess a victim mentality or flaw, no one can victimize them.

Recognize the energy field which caused you to be unbalanced by this person’s perception/judgement/output. You are right, it is a test, set up by you. A balanced person will not allow the negativity around them to affect them.

I keep my circle pretty small and close, just for this reason. I didn’t make the actual energy field changes until a few years ago. I myself was faced with a situation where people were reacting negatively to their perception of someone else’s negativity. I used breathing exercises to regulate the physiological processes of emotion. I refrained from gossip by always drawing attention back to the self. What is it in US that is causing us to experience this? And so on.

Once you are strong in your sense of self and have claimed your power, the energy field shifts. It can still fluctuate, but is no longer so easily unbalanced. I only get “attacked” anymore when I am unsure of my footing, ideas, beliefs, self. When I am in my core self’s power, my energy field repels them from acting as they would have with me in the past or they do with others now.

So evaluate what it was she was picking on you about. gain an understanding of how truly firm and settled you are in your beliefs, your truths, that which is right for you.

Also, it is entirely OK to feel hurt by her. Acknowledge that, accept it, don’t squash it into energy field blocks by converting your hurt feelings into anger at her which you then must suppress because “spiritual people are not allowed to have bad feelings”. This causes disease. Let yourself cry about it if you have to, then let her go, let your idea of the importance of her judgement in your life go.

Maybe even look upon her as a direct reflection, or facet of yourself (as you are having trouble not reacting in the same manner). Make a thought ceremony of it. Identify with her as a human, light child, self, with pain, with anger, with jealousy, with frustration. Have compassion and understanding. Then when all of that has accumulated to a climax within yourself let her/it go. Blow her away out of your hands, or out of your mind, out of your energy field. Send it all to the Light (or the Void) for transmutation.

When we make ‘shields’ we separate. When we allow, we unify. Our job here now is to take all the boiling anger, the trauma, and frustration and meet/mete it with a stillness, an allowance, which we can absorb into us, process bodily via our own emotions, and then allow to move on. When we do this instead of reacting, lashing out, and so on, then the energy behind that is vanished, absorbed, transmuted. Deep breaths it takes, and whole body acceptance that you are going to be feeling uncomfortable things as you allow their negativity to move through you which will summon up your own negativity for processing. Resisting it, squirming under it only makes it more uncomfortable and insistent that you recognize it and allow it to pass.

Please let me know if you need any more clarification of details or more specific techniques.

Follow up:

Wow, what a response indeed.

I feel that I tend to be very sensitive to those around me even if I don’t know them so I’ve spent a lot of time trying to build a sort of shield but have come to realize over and over again that I “failed” at doing that. I just have a hard time denying what my inner self has always done so naturally which is let people (energy) in and I’m now seeing that maybe what you just described is exactly the “road block” (as I self described it). It’s not a block at all but a sort of point I was missing intellectually, but not emotionally or even spiritually.

What you have said thus far is making sense to me and giving me a lot more to think about and meditate on. Thank you! I now know something specific I can work on and at least partially maybe how to work on my perception. I believe, and always have felt, that we are all “one” but have come across various “road blocks” over my years when trying to connect what I learn to be true and how to appropriate it in daily life and use what I’ve learned. I just read though what you wrote once so I will have to take it piece by piece and give it a bit more thought.

Thank you so much! I feel like a window has been opened that I wasn’t even aware of even though it was right in front of me. You just made my day.

Dragon Code Download. Synchro Mystic Visioning & Desire Mapping in Action.

The Rainbow SerpentI created this personal spell casting mantra to assist in re-aligning my energy field with my true self. The core imprint of my soul purpose.

Think DNA coding.
Dragons are purveyors of ancient wisdom and power.

I wanted to get down to business and call forth ALL of what is contained with in me. My whole being. The ancient consciousness which gave birth to the original blueprint of ME. I desired with all my heart to surrender to the original will and purpose of my existence.

A dragon had come to snuggle me a month prior. Activating a chain of events within my consciousness which would bring me integration of this archetypal aspect of myself.

Being on fire and alive with access to the ancient genetic coding within each and every cell of my body was my motivation. It was a soul stirred passion. Fierce and mighty in it’s presence. The dragon being an energetic substructure of the building blocks of my energy field.

I was going through a whole restructuring process when I wrote these little spells. My entire life purpose, my belief systems, my core energetic patterning, everything, was being re-examined and called into question. Layers of ego death were inevitable. Revealing of my core self was commencing. Ready or not.

During this particular energetic transition (activation, vision, upgrade, revealing) I merged with the dragon energy I was invoking so vividly that I began to embody it’s characteristics, it’s feelings. I wasted no time and began to Desire Map.  So I honed in on what sensations, e-motions this dragon was insisting I embody.

All the emotions that my soul was revealing to me that I should integrate created a new feeling. My personal revelation helped me to understand the layers of emotion and desire. My desire mapping process ended like this:


Powerful | Wise | Magical | Fierce | Confident

I wasn’t wholeheartedly or whole-mindedly aware of the fact that I lacked a sensation we call “secure”. I mean, I knew it in my head. I’m excellent at processing mental data and analyzing it to form well-rounded conclusions. Actually embodying the sensation of “secure” was quite another task, as it’s not necessarily embedded in my childhood programming. Lots of insecurity experienced as an adult, testing my beliefs of what secure really looks like.

These words (powerful, wise, magical, fierce, confidence) came together for me. All of them added up to automatic security! So even if I couldn’t necessarily generate a feeling of security of it’s own accord, focusing on the other feelings certainly did engender it. And it was pretty powerful in the moment.

One night as I was looking within to see if I could take another look at this magnificent dragon energy residing within me and hopefully get some more information about it’s presence and messages for me I caught sight of it.

My dragon shimmered iridescent.
She’s under there.
The Philosopher’s Stone.
Radiant as the rainbow.
Subtle as invisibility

The rainbow shimmer appeared as faceted scales, moving rainbow colors and would go invisible again as soon as it came.  It was then that it dawned on me.
The Rainbow Serpent.

The Rainbow Serpent devours people and vomits them back up. Symbolizing death and rebirth. Associated with water.

The Rainbow Serpent was the first being into the material world and helped to create the Universe by transferring the Force, Creator, the Supreme Intelligence through the cosmos. The Rainbow Serpent was commanded by First Source to coil beneath the Earth to support it.
– Dahomey Dragon Myth

Ya, totally DNA codes.

After refreshing my intellect on the story of Quetzalcoatl I could see how it could be seen as a feathered serpent considering the visuals I was getting. I was also astonished that this Rainbow Serpent was a limbless winged dragon, just the same sort of dragon I had chosen previously to represent Mama Jedi. You can see it pop up here from time to time on the site.

This is how I learned that dragons are our DNA. Through DNA the Rainbow Serpent (representative of ALL life, not just human) spreads the ONE consciousness throughout the cosmos. Thus supporting material existence by it’s very nature. We can also assert that the dragon is the coil of energy in the mitochondria, or even the string in String Theory. Thereby not limiting the expression of God throughout the Universe to things with DNA, but all things manifested in existence.

This is how I desire mapped through my synchro mystic visioning. Integrating the dragon’s message into my energy field. Every time I focus on the core desired feelings I got out of this experience, I am restructuring my neural pathways, my body chemistry, I am aligning my will and purpose with the DNA encoded will and purpose of the Rainbow Serpent.


One way Life Learning works. Impromptu Coach. Everyone’s a Teacher.

My youngest child loves to skate. So this summer we’ve taken to going to the little skate park near our house after dinner. There’s a great view of the mountains and epic sunsets are inevitable.

My kid brings both his Strider (a balance bike, which he’s grown out of, which I also highly recommend) and the precious skateboard he received for his sixth birthday.

He’s watched all the videos. Seriously. All of them. But he still can’t land an ollie. He practices and practices. He get’s close, but he just doesn’t have the technique down to get his huge skateboard off the ground. We’ve considered investing in actual skate lessons, but… So I put it out to the universe. Hey, need some skate instruction here!

Now, my kid is down with the usual suburban skate park teens. Many of them are fringe friends of my three teens. Over the last few months there have been several older kids giving my little skater a shout out for his efforts and cool pretend tricks he likes to do on both his Strider and skateboard. Sometimes they even come over and show him what the foot positioning of the ollie looks like and do one for him to watch.

Aside of all the mini lessons he’s received from older kids and young adults, what he hasn’t had is any lengthy one on one coaching from a skilled skater who was invested enough . Until two nights ago.

That’s when a skater dad at the skate park with his young son riding a scooter noticed my son’s ability and invested himself in coaching him. I wasn’t even sure how I felt about the whole ordeal as this man, who came off more like a P.E. coach than a typical skater dude, engaged my son in conversation and began a lesson. I resolved myself to allow the exchange and watch the magic happen.

This perfect stranger spent a good 25 minutes on my son. Out of the blue. Sharing his knowledge and taking on a role. I was enthralled.

My kid landed an ollie that night. Hasn’t happened since, but he keeps at it. Can’t wait for the next impromptu learning experience.

This is one of the ways life learning works. Experiences with people.


Your Desires Are Holy. So Go Do Them.

Desire and holy aren’t usually used in the same sentence. Except in the negative. In fact there’s whole religious traditions dedicated to removing desire in order to attain holiness.

I’m going to attest to the opposite.
Your desires ARE holy.
They are.

Ego based desires are quite a bit distorted away from soul desires, and it’s the ego’s desires that those religious traditions attempt to eliminate. But not all desire is of the ego.

You have to have done the work of removing your ego masks, done your soul searching, forged a clear connection with your High Self (Holy Guardian Angel, God Connection, what-have-you). As long as you’ve done all that then you’re good to go.

Desire away!

Here’s where some of us get stuck. I know I did. By the time I stripped myself of most all egoic desires and emptied myself enough to gain connection to my Holy Guardian Angel I wasn’t sure if I had any desires left. I was floating around in this very present minded state. Most everything I had desired up to that point was based in ego consciousness, not God Consciousness.

I went through an identity crisis as well. When you are steeped in your ego, you identify as ego. When ego takes a dive, our identity can take a dive as well.

Instead. Identify with the spirit. The soul connection. The higher self.

This way ego can die and rise again, die and rise again all it wants. It’s not going to change your identity. You will be firmly rooted in your higher self. You’re higher purpose. Your most authentic self.

Your soul has desires your ego never dreamed of.
Search deep.
Those desires are holy, sanctified and righteous.
So go do them.
Don’t listen to your ego.
Listen to the longings of your soul.


Into and Out of the Shadows. Sophia meets the Morrighan.

Hello Jedis!  I’ve been hiding for six months now. Six long months of deep dark shadow work. I was facing some heavy shit beginning of the year.

Facing my fears.
Facing my distortions.
Facing my choices.
Facing all the dark shadowy parts of myself.
Front and center.

It was pretty tough I tell you. Accepting that I am flawed. Accepting that I am not exactly all that my perfectionist ego mind thinks I should be. Accepting that I have darkness lurking within me.

But not all that is dark is evil.
Oh no.
Just unseen.
Not understood.
Just dark.
Think yin/yang.

Think Sophia meets the Morrighan.

As I was reaching the apex of meeting my darkness I was blessed with a vision. I saw my darkness personified. She was incredible in her horrific beauty. I was awestruck with her presence and power. I realized that I was acting as Sophia meeting Her polar opposite, the Morrighan. All that is darkness.

As I witnessed the Morrighan come unto me, I listened with my heart as best I could. I could sense a frustration come from Her that was exactly the same frustration as mine. A lack of wholeness. A lack of dark embrace. Death of what is no longer needed. Neglect of fertilizing my inner soil. Her frustration with me was that I was in denial of her existence. In denial of everything she had been showing me.

So I hugged her.
Then the relief came.
The acceptance came.
The reunification of my spirit commenced.
It was beautiful.